Standing on the Threshold
I can barely look at this photograph that I chose for this blog feature without feeling awful emotions in my stomach and throat. My mouth is beginning to salivate and I might need to make a run for it. Luckily, the faster I type, the faster I am able to scroll this picture out of view. I don't envy the photographer who took this picture, although it perfectly depicts what I was going for.
The swirl of energy portrayed in this picture makes me feel quite dizzy and very ill and I feel like I'm standing on the threshold to passing out. I don't do well with spinning fair rides or doing donuts in an empty parking lot. You see those kinds of activities make me feel light headed, nauseous and uncomfortable.
Since recovering from my cancer treatments, I have a condition known as Postural Hypotension, which is a medical term for low blood pressure. When your blood pressure reads lower than 90/60 you are considered to have Hypotension. To give you an idea, optimal blood pressure should be lower than 120/80.
When I get my hair done at a salon, lowering my head into the sink basin to have my hair washed, makes my eyes roll into the back of my head, as does turning over on the chiropractic table. Sometimes laying down or turning over in bed will induce the familiar, yet nauseating feelings. My body doesn't like it. It is said that having low blood pressure is often associated with having a long life. If that's the case, I'll outlive everyone...as long as I don't black out first.
I remember one moment when I was at home recovering from cancer. I stood up from the couch and started to walk down the hallway. I felt those familiar sensations, but my vision disappeared. All I could see was white stars on a black background. My then husband realized that something was wrong and came to my side to be with me until my vision returned.
Since my last blog posting in February, I've jumped into fear and have done things that scare me. I have been a vendor at three psychic fairs to date, with more on the way. I've often attended them as a participant, but never as a vendor. In March an opportunity came my way and I jumped into fear and took it!
My abilities have grown even more and I've noticed changes in my visions (no pun intended). I always welcome change and growth as you never know where it will take you. When giving a reading, I've noticed a wave of dizziness during the session. It started as a slight wave of lightheadedness when channeling a particular message but then it turned into full on dizziness. It's a bit hard to explain, to be giving a reading and then to be hit by a wave of energy. The energy always flows from my left side and pushes me to the right. I often feel like I physically swoon to the right. It's a very interesting sensation for sure.
Imagine someone coming quickly at you to push you out of your chair. They weren't there when you first sat down, but then during a conversation someone comes and pushes a large amount of energy at you, making you feel disoriented and dizzy.
A couple of weeks ago I was a vendor at a well known metaphysical expo. On Saturday, I went to scope it out and to see where my table would be. I was guided to only participate on the Sunday...which I later understood.
Talking to one of the vendors, a lady who is well known and respected in the metaphysical community and who I had vaguely met at a previous function, told me that I had a massive amount of energy above my crown chakra. As she described it she motioned with both hands that vast amount of energy coming from me. She said that she "teaches people like me" on how to control the energy coming from my crown chakra. I honestly didn't think much about it as I figured it had to do with my connection to the Spirit World.
On Sunday I set up my table and only read a handful of people. I signed up to be a vendor for the expos, to market myself and to make connections. They are also a lot of fun! As it happened my table was next to this lady from Saturday who had told me about the huge energy above my head. I felt good at the start of the day, but as the day progressed I felt more and more lightheaded which then progressed to full on vertigo.
After the show closed, I mentioned to a friend that I felt really unwell. She called this well respected woman over in a matter of urgency. She could see that I wasn't doing well at all and said that I needed to ground myself, and so we both went outside.
As I took my flip flops off to stand in the dirt, I started to tip over to the right and she caught me. We then went to the grass and did the same thing. Once again I began to fall over to the right. It felt like the right hand side of my body was heavier than my left and so I began to fall over. It was a really weird sensation. Once again, this lady caught me as we grounded into the earth.
We stood out there for a bit and then I decided to quickly pack up my table so that I could go home as soon as possible. I had never felt like this before, nor to the extent of the dizziness.
It took me some time to gather my belongings, as the wave of dizziness was extreme. When I came home, I laid on my couch and fell fast asleep. I picked myself up and went to bed early, only to sleep for 12 hours and I was very lethargic the next day. I would have stayed in bed all day, except for the fact that my cat was meowing up a storm for his breakfast. He is a wireless food alarm, whereas my dog is a wireless doorbell!
Monday was a complete write off. I was exhausted, dizzy and nauseated. I'd try to walk straight, but my body would have none of that. I'd make wide berths wherever I went. I couldn't help it. My memory was vacant. I kept losing things all of the time and couldn't remember where I put them. I felt like I had left my body and was floating around in the ethers somewhere.
It took me a week to begin to feel like myself and I began to wear two hematite bracelets to keep me grounded. They remind me of weight belt divers used to stay weighted in the ocean. (Interestingly enough when I took my open water scuba course years ago, no one could get the weight of the belt right. Either I had too little weight and couldn't sink or I had too much weight and couldn't surface. Somewhere at the murky bottom of Two Jack Lake in Alberta, lies a weight belt that I took off to surface.)
Hematite clears and activates the Root Chakra which helps anchor us to the earth to keep us grounded and stable. It protects the soul and grounds us back into the body. Mentally Hematite stimulates concentration and focus. It enhances memory. Physically Hematite has a powerful connection with blood as it restores, strengthens and regulates the blood supply.
I have since received a "Matilda Special" hematite necklace that has been made a special way and has been infused with a sacred, mysterious, protection spell. I can only wear it for a short time, as it makes me equally dizzy, until I feel calibrated by it. After that, I feel calm and grounded.
I've also been introduced to something called "Forest Bathing" which back in the day would have been called "Going for a Walk in the Woods''. Forest bathing is a preventative health care because of the mental, physical and spiritual health benefits it delivers. Connecting with nature has real and long-term benefits which reduces stress, improves immunity, lowers blood pressure and accelerates recovery from illness or trauma. The purpose of forest therapy enhances one's health, wellness, and happiness by re-calibrating your body.
Spending two to three hours in the forest a couple times a week has done wonders for me. I walk into the forest feeling lightheaded and confused and I emerge feeling whole, vibrant and new again. Nature really does wonders for our souls.
Whether it be crystals or a walk in nature, being grounded and protected is an important measure for not only healers and mediums but for everyone on this beautiful earth of ours.
As George Santayana said: "The earth has music for those who listen."
